The Switch
by MissDevon
Summary: When Marty's tricks are uncovered years later, can the Buchanans put themselves back together as a family, and bring the one who ran away back into their fold or is it too late? And is it too late for the lives of the lovers she interferred with as well?
1. New Year

**The Switch**

Natalie Baldwin sat staring at out the window of the Penthouse she shared with her husband, Michael and step-son, Fen, emptiness overwhelming her, as it often times did. She listened to the laughter around her as the countdown to New Year's rang out, and forced a smile as Michael wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck, knowing it was what was expected of her.

Like usual, she played her role well on this night. She wouldn't let the memories of five years ago haunt her or detract from what she now had.

She wouldn't remember that she should be celebrating her fifth anniversary to John McBain tonight and that she should be wishing their child a happy fifth birthday along with her nephew tomorrow.

That child had died with her dreams.

Her nephew would receive his gift in the mail as usual with no return address thanks to one RJ Gannon, who was now running Gloworm and keeping Gloria and Jeffrey on very short leashes thanks to the money they didn't know she had put into their business to keep it afloat, as well as the money she had used to get Kevin out of trouble with Jeffrey's bookie friend so he could keep his niece, Kathleen, and turn his marriage of connivance to Chloe into a real one.

A real marriage- that's what she and Michael were supposed to have.

One made on mutual respect and caring and maybe even love. One made on understanding the other's shortcomings and that neither would ever be the other's first true love since Michael's wife, Lauren, had disappeared in a fit paranoia and apparently killed herself by driving off a bridge a few towns over.

They were comfortable with each other.  
Partners in the office and at home.  
They didn't ask for more than the other could give, and with him she didn't dream.  
She didn't have to.

Natalie Baldwin just moved through life, a shell of the woman she once was. An AC girl/shark in the courtroom. Loving aunt to Jamie and Kathleen and DD in public. Good wife and stepmother. However, she knew she'd never measure up to Lauren and didn't care.

What good would it do?  
She was just a replacement?  
A fill in…. disposable, just like she had been in Landview.

She'd learned that when she became Mrs. McBain.

Learned that when Jude had died and John had left her to grieve alone while her sister got to be giddy with happiness with her boyfriend and son, Reilly, almost throwing her happiness in her face, especially after she had to move back to Landfair with nothing but a broken heart and empty arms to a nursery that would never hold her child…

* * *

Jessica looked at the pediatrician confusion on her face, her big blue eyes filled with tears and lips pursed: "but that's impossible!" she cried out.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Lovett, but that's what the tests say," the doctor replied gently.

"Then run them again!" Brody demanded.

"We ran them three times," the doctor admitted. "Mrs. Lovett, you are related to the child; however there's no way you can be his mother. And Detective Lovett, it's impossible for you to be the father."

"No. This isn't happening," Jessica said as Kevin led her to a nearby chair. "How can this be happening?"

Todd looked over to an emotional Marty who was holding onto John's arm with one hand, the other digging into the arm of the chair she was sitting in for dear life: "Yeah, Marty, how could this be happening? You and that vindictive streak of yours dream something up?"

"Todd!" Tea said through gritted teeth as Marty stiffened.

Todd just shrugged: "Hey, she's the one who delivered Natalie's baby. Who threatened her on more than one occasion."

"Who switched her medical records," Rex put in. "Switched her medical records… dmn it, why didn't we… you changed the results of that test so you could blackmail her. You wanted her and John broken up. Then you wanted her baby, only John showed up."

Marty snorted: "You're both crazy. She slept with Brody and he was the father not John…"she slipped.

"Apparently not according to these tests," Todd put in.

"I also wouldn't have stolen a baby. Don't you think it would've been a little hard for me to pull that off?" she wondered.

"But apparently not too hard to switch my sister's with Jessica's," Rex put in. "You did to her what Jessica did to Cole and Star. You kept saying how she didn't deserve to be a mother and you made sure she couldn't be one. You gave her the sick baby. The dying one as payback for her doing her job."

"Her job?" Marty scoffed. "Her job was to put my son in jail for TEN years?"

"He killed a man Marty," John said softly. "And it was me who put him there. Me who keeps getting him moved every time he gets 'caught' in a fight. Me who protects him.

It was me who covered for him when he shot Miles. Me who stood up for him when he helped Miles keep Todd hidden. Me who got him the deal on the drug bust that almost got Sean, Star, and Hope killed. Me who choose Natalie over you."

"And it was me who left Eli handcuffed to that car," Brody added quietly.

"It wasn't just Natalie you were out to hurt," Jessica put in, coming round. "She was your main target, but we were all collateral damage, weren't we?

"No," Marty said. "Don't you see, Jessica? You got to have your baby.  
I gave you that.  
She didn't deserve to be a mother.  
Didn't know what it meant to be one.  
You did- do.  
Your baby was dying. I switched them.  
I gave you a healthy baby so you wouldn't lose yours again.  
I gave you your son the way she took mine from me and I got to take hers away from her.  
Don't you see? She didn't deserve him.  
Love him.  
You DO."

"And what about me, Marty?" John wondered. "What did I deserve?"

"The truth," she said. "But how could I give you that when you lost your son. Another child because of that tramp? So when she left I gave you back what I could. I gave you back us. Our family. You and me and Cole. You're a father to him. A grandfather to Hope…"

"And for five years my son has been calling someone else Daddy. Someone else Mommy. Been going by a name someone else picked out for him. Now he may die because of the choices YOU made. You might have killed two babies. Two innocent children. Do you get that?" he demanded.

"No…"

"My son- my real one- might have lived, Marty, "Jessica told her. "With the right treatments. He HAD a CHANCE. You took that from him because of the fact that Natalie and John aren't matches for me and Brody. Hell, I could've called Antonio. My mom's a match for me. But Natalie…"

"She and I are matches," Kevin said softly. "I'll talk to the doctor. See if it helps."

"And Mikey a match for me," John said as he walked away from Marty.

"John…"

"I'm going to save my son and then I'm going to see about finding my wife and putting my life back together."

"What about our life?"

"Going to be hard living it from inside a prison cell," Brody commented.

"I didn't do anything wrong."

"Wrong no," Nora commented. "Illegal, yes," she continued as Bo walked over to the blonde, "And I'm not helping you out of this one. I don't think many people will be willing to."

Looking wide eyed at Rex, Jessica sighed: "how do we even start to look for Natalie to tell her the truth? To repair this damage?" she wondered.

"I don't know." He admitted.

"Maybe I do," Clint admitted as he looked to Kevin's newest girlfriend, attorney Heather Stevens. "I just don't know what the reception will be."


	2. I Know the Truth

AN: there is some mild language in this chapter. Also, I tend to write Jess more as ET then BW, but I think I did a pretty good job melding the two here to make her a bit sympathetic. the Jess/Brody part ended up a bit longer than I had anticipated and with a twist I wasn't, but it fits or at least I think it does. Natalie's part is more about showing who she has become now, which will be important later on as it will play into how she deals with her new husband, and more _importantly Marty_, as well as the fact that John will have his work cut out for him in winning her over, esp now that she has a support system (introduced in part next chapter) including a real mother figure who will take Vikki on in more ways then one. Oh, and she just might be plotting something to prove just how much of a Buch she is with the help of a couple of old characters because like she saids at the end she knows more then peole thinkgs she does.

**Chapter 2  
**_**I Know the Truth**_

Jessica returned home to Lanfair tired and hurting. After checking in on Bre, she went in search of her husband of nearly five years. "We need to talk about this Brody," she said softly from the doorway of his home office, a gift from Charlie when he made detective.

"What's there to talk about, Jess?" Brody asked from where he sat lounging back in his chair. "Reilly will get the care he needs and then…"

"Then?" Jessica interrupted perturbed as she walked into the room. "Then we tell the truth. John already knows. Natalie deserves to as well."

"After the way she lied, you honestly think she deserves to know the truth? NOW?" he asked angrily.

Jess shook her head, a touch of anger in her voice as she threw her purse down on a nearby table and started to stripe out of her coat: "Don't even, Brody. There were TWO of you in that room that night," she shot back and then at his look, laughed: " what? You think this is the first time that Marty let _that_ little paternity secret drop? Why the hell do you think that Natty decided to take off on our wedding day? She walked in on Marty telling me how _she_ should be my maid of honor. How Natalie couldn't be trusted. Before I could say anything Natty was gone. Not even Kevin could catch her before she disappeared."

"So his plane wasn't late?" Brody asked jumping to his feet. "What other lies have you kept from me?" he asked grabbing her forcefully.

"Lies?" she asked as she wrestled out of his hold. "Are they _lies_ or _secrects_ when you hold them to protect the ones you love, like the way you convinced Natalie she had to. To hold onto John. To the family. To protect me. Keep me sane. Keep me from loosing my baby?" she listed. "Damn it, Brody, how stupid did you think I was? I _knew _something was going on between you two. I saw it in how you interacted. How she wasn't as happy as she should've been about the baby. How she shied away from you touching her.  
I saw it when I read between the lines of what Marty wrote in your file.  
Why the hell else would she give it to me? Your superiors already knew about the PTSD?"

"Don't Jessica..."

"Tell me one thing, Brody. Did you enjoy taking advantage of my sister and her insecurities?  
Pushing her to have a test that Marty could get her hands on and switch, because lets face it, if Natalie wasn't _pushed _into having the CVS she would've ran the test herself in the crime labs after Jude was born. She didn't need you or John or anyone else to ever find out."

"I didn't take advantage of your sister. If anything…"

"Oh, hell no. You are not blaming SLEEPING with MY sister on_ her_!" Jessica yelled at him. "You can _blame_ it on Marty for keeping that letter from John. You can _blame _it on John for being a blind SOB when it came to Marty and not realizing how she was manipulating him or for not listening to Natalie when she tried to tell him. Hell she tried to tell him- all of us- but only you and Rex did something about it.  
How is it, that the man she trusted- the man I gave my heart to- could turn things around as badly as Marty on her?"

"She was drunk when she came…"

"And you weren't?"

"It's different."

"Yeah, aside from Natalie not being in AA and lying about how long she's been sober, she invested seven or eight years of her life into John, I'd barely invested two into you. You knew I would chosen my sister over you once I got over my anger, didn't you?"

"You never would've chosen her over me," Brody said tuning his back on his wife.

"I would've forgiven her faster. I OWED her that much."

"You owe that bitch nothing."

Jessica shook her head: "what happened to the man I married? The loving man who loved my family. Cared what I thought? Loved me enough to believe in me and the choices I've made?"

"You've made some shitty choices over the years, Jessica."

"Maybe," she admitted. "Starting with not telling you I was pretty sure that Ford was Reilly's father for years now. Your blood type and his were incompatible.  
That's one of those lies you keep to protect someone you love, Brody," she told him as he spun around eyes blazing with anger. "But now I know that truth. One I _never _could've imagined. And I'm going to fix things."

"He's our son."

"No… no he's _not. _He never has been Brody. Why can't you see that?" she wondered. "We were never meant to have that dream together. I've come to terms with it. I wish to G-d you could.  
Reilly is Natalie and John's.  
He's our _nephew," _she said crossing to him. "I don't blame you two for what happened that night. How could I when I went through the same thing with Will?  
When I knew all along.  
See, what you didn't know was that day, when I went back to being your Jessica, I saw- she left something in her rush to leave. I recognized it on some level and just didn't want to admit, not because of her, but because I didn't want to believe that the man I _thought_ you were would sleep with my sister hours after an alter dumped you."

"It wasn't…"

Jessica laughed: "why? Because Marty said so? Please. I reverted to a Jessica before Will. Before Meghan. Before Dorian almost killed me and did my baby. To a time when it was me and Christian and simple and the dreams were easy and life was…" she sighed and shook her head. "When my head was clear enough I went to my doctor at St. Ann's. He totally disagreed with Marty and how she treated me.  
The reason I came back wasn't because of what you told me about Mitch.  
It was seeing Chris propose to Layla.  
It was being with Ford and flashing back. First to Will and… once I remembered him I remembered Meghan and… telling you it was Mitch was so much easier."

"What happened with Natalie wasn't planned," Brody said, exhaling, wanting his wife to hear his side of things and take his side.

"Oh, and what happened with me and Ford was?" Jessica wondered. "You've been making me pay for that mistake for years, Brody.  
Hell, Natalie's paid for sleeping with you for years.  
She thinks her son is DEAD.  
You have no idea what it's like to bury a child.  
The hole it leaves in your heart.  
How you never stop wondering what you could've done differently.  
How you always question why you survived and they didn't.  
When you see a child that age wonder…" she stopped herself. "I won't let my sister go through that any more. Her son is alive and she deserves the truth."

"He's our son damn it!"

"Why?" Jessica asked. "Because Marty made it so? Because we raised him for five years?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Does that make Roxy Natalie's mother?" she wondered.

"Seems to make Clint your father," Brody shot back without thinking.

"Bastard," Jessica said as she went to swing at her husband.

Easily pulling her arm behind her back, Brody glared down at her: "I warned you a long time ago about raising a hand to me."

"You're not controlling this, Brody.  
If we don't tell the truth Reilly will hate us when he's older.  
Besides too many people know," she rationalized.

"We fight. We fight to keep our son."

"No," Jessica replied. "I'm tired of fighting to hold onto things that I should've let go of long ago.  
I'm finding my sister, and just like you all made me give Chloe back- give her back when _no one_ knew what I did. When Todd would've covered for me. Convinced Star to give her to me, I'm giving my sister her son back.  
He won't ever wonder who he is.  
If he was loved.

He'll know.  
He'll have two sets of parents.

One loving family who'd fight heaven and earth to keep the monsters away from him and save his life, but what he'll never have is my sister's life.  
A life where he's a pawn in a crazy person's game for revenge.  
Where he has to fear saying the wrong thing and being hit so hard he'll go flying across the room.  
Of never measuring up to a dream, the way she felt she never measured up to me.  
Reilly will _never _grow up feeling like trash or second best or that he doesn't belong."

"You really think that once the shook wears off that's how it's going to be?" Brody demanded.

"I already see the change in your eyes, Brody. And don't think I don't know why my daughter's behavior around you has suddenly changed," Jessica shot back.

"It's the stress Jess. I'll talk to Crosby…." Brody pleaded.

"That'll help. But it started before Reilly got sick. I don't know, say about the time that Claudia admitted she switched Bre's paternity test results hoping that she and Nash would raise Bre together instead of me and Antonio and when you thought he'd sue for custody instead of just working out a visitation arrangement with me."

"Oh, and it's perfectly ok for _her _not to know the truth, but we have to tell Reilly?"

"That wasn't my decision. Antonio was her father for a while when she was a baby and then he wasn't. He wants to wait till she's old enough to understand, but maybe you're right. Maybe once we've gotten pass all this with Reilly it will be time for me and Tonio to sit down and explain things to her.

But to her _you_ were her father.  
The one _she wanted_.  
Don't you remember?  
Once upon a time she asked you if you would be her daddy?" Jessica asked him. "Why would you throw that away?"

"Why would you throw our whole family away?"

Jessica shook her head: "I'm tired. I'm going to bed. ALONE," she added as she started picking up her purse and coat.

"What else is new?" Brody wondered as she walked out of the room, wondering if this was the first step of her walking out on him…

* * *

Natalie snuggled down deeper into the blankets of the guest room, wanting to hold onto the remnants of her dreams even as she heard the movement outside the room. As she heard the door creak open, she lost the image of her and John reentering the family room at Lanfair to the laughter and teasing of family as their son opened a saddle from Kevin…

"Happy New Years!" Fenmore said happily, as he held a tray in his hands and Natalie forced a smile.

"Happy New Years, honey. What's all this?" she asked her stepson as she pushed herself up in the bed so that she could sit and take in his smiling face.

"Breakfast," the teenager answered with a 'duh!' look as he put the tray in front of her and sat on the edge of the bed. "Figured you did so much for the party last night you might like something done for you today."

"I liked throwing the party last night."

"Even cleaning it up all by yourself?" he wondered.

Natalie shrugged: "someone had to do it."

"I would've helped this morning."

"You have better things to do today."

Fen laughed, "you know you don't have to be afraid of the food. I cooked it, not Dad."

Natalie smiled: "glad to know that home ec course you and Kyle are taking is good for more than meeting girls."

Fen rolled his eyes: "Dad isn't known for his culinary skills. Nor are either of my grandmothers. Had to learn somewhere," he shrugged.

"Riggght."

"Will you teach me how to make one of those Spanish dishes you cook when Jamie visits?" he asked, surprising her.

"For class or a girl?"

"Survival," Fen shot back. "Come on, otherwise all I know how to make is what I make for the customers at Crimson Lights."

Natalie smiled around her fork, swallowed, then answered: "sure. I'd like the company in the kitchen. That is if you can tear yourself away from the video games…"

"For this?" Fen laughed as Michael came to the door. "What am I being left out of all the fun?" he asked with an easy air, even as he looked at his watch.

"Nope. Just promised Fen I'd teach him how to cook one of the dishes that I make when Jamie visits, which actually we can do tonight if we get home early enough."

"Really?" Fen asked excitedly.

"Yeah."

"She's coming that soon?" Michael asked.

"Spending the Feast of the Three Kings with RJ," Natalie answered before turning her attention to Fen: "You better start getting ready. We have to get to the Abbots soon for your secret mission with Kyle."

"Kay, Nat," Fen said bounding out of the room. Once she knew he was out of earshot, Natalie moved the tray and glared at Michael: "do you have to be so obvious?"

"What?" he asked, trying to act innocent as she threw back the covers and got out of the bed. "You two have plans at Jack's and…"

"And you have plans here? Going over briefs with Chris?" Natalie wondered as she went to the closet and pulled out a change of clothes.

"She is helping me with a problem Victor is having," he hedged.

"Right," Natalie bit off. "Make sure she cleans those briefs up reaaaaallll well. Oh, and that the sheets are crisp enough to cut after all is said and done."

"You're bring paranoid."

"No, you apparently have me mistaken with Lauren. Tell me, how long do you think it would have taken her to realize you were running around on her. Oh, wait, you wouldn't have," Natalie retorted. "I didn't get where I am today by being an idiot, Michael. I know a hell of a lot more then you think I do and I can do a hell of a lot of damage if I wanted to. The only thing stopping me is Fen."

"You don't want to pick the wrong enemies to fight, Natalie," Michael stated. "Besides, you want me to believe you don't…"

"Don't finish that statement, Michael," she said testily. "I don't sleep around. I keep my promises to the point where I'm the one who's hurt by there repercussions in ways you don't even want to know about- couldn't dream of.  
I've stayed true to our vows. Lord knows you haven't exactly given me reason to…" exhaling she shook her head: "look, I was up most of the night cleaning up after the party. I'm a little testy this morning.  
Let's leave it at that.  
Now, I need to get dressed and Fenmore over to the Abbots, you do whatever it is you have to do with Christine, but I swear to G-d Michael, if I ever find out that you slept with her in out house- our bed- then it will be full out war.  
For Fen's sake I won't destroy you, but that doesn't mean I don't have enough on the bug to go to Billy."

"And we'd loose Victor as a client, you know how he feels about her."

"Ahhh, yes, Christine Blair, the new Sharon Newman of Genoa City."

"You have to stop hanging out with Phyllis so much," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"But she's your best friend, isn't she?" Natalie asked pointedly. "Now if you don't mind, I have to get dressed. We're running late…"


	3. Pretty Pretty Perfect

**Chapter 3**

Natalie looked over at Fen as she put the car in park outside of Gloworm. "Sure you'll be ok out here while I run in for a few minutes to check in with RJ about Jamie's visit?"

"Got new gear to keep me occupied, I'll be fine," Fen replied with a smirk as he barely looked up from the game system he held in his hands as she reached under the passenger seat to grab her purse.

"Still, use the cell if you need…"

"Nat, I'm a teen. I can handle a knock on the window. Really who's gonna even notice me while you're in there? Gloria?"

Natalie laughed: "you know if she does a heads up would be nice," she chided as she slid out of the car and then closed and locked the door. Inhaling the cold air, she pulled down the edge of her old red leather coat, a throwback to her days in Landview and as Natalie Buchanan that always brought a wry smile to Gannon's lips and fortified her on days like today. For some reason, it made her feel almost as though her grandfather was wrapping her up in his big arms and keeping her safe from harm, not that she would ever admit it. But red was always her color when it came to Asa.

Out of habit, she looked back to the car and smiled when she saw that Fen was once again consumed in the latest PSP or whatever gadget it was thanks to Chloe's contacts at Restless Style and Kevin's knowledge of game systems and software.

Opening the door to the club, she couldn't help but remember that Chloe had remarked that Kevin's interest in the gaming system had made it easy to shop for him, Fen, Kyle, and even Billy Abbot, but it was the favors she had to call in to get the number of the hot item that had been hell on her life… "We're closed," RJ Gannon started to grouse from behind the bar he was restocking.

"Even to me?" Natalie asked sweetly as she reached the bar and placed her new designer purse, a gift from Chloe, on top of it.

Turning, RJ took her in and tried not to roll his eyes. He knew when she was dressed in that particular jacket she was looking for trouble. He was just glad that he was closed and that she also wasn't at Jimmy's. "If I ask how you're doing are you going to give me an honest answer?" he asked her as he leaned back against the wall holding the liquor and eyed her up and down.

Natalie rolled her own eyes back at him: "How was last night's take?" was her only answer.

"Nice deflection, _Buchanan."_

Shaking her head, Natalie bit back a curse: "You really want to piss me off today, RJ?"

Laughing, the black man leveled away from the wall: "you're breathing fire already. Want to tell me why?"

"Not particularly," she sighed. "So, last night?"

"Decent for a New Year's in this town. But you did miss the usual scenes…"

"Victor's latest?" she asked.

"Ah huh," he replied with a laugh. "Like that was much of a leap. She's younger than Abby for crying out loud!"

"Yeah, well at least she keeps her clothes on."

"You mean unlike his ex, who got trashed and decided to go back to her striping ways when her ex got a little too close to someone else?"

Natalie snorted at that: "Please tell me the paparazzi got shots of that one!"

"Chancellor got her out of her first."

"Damn! Would've loved to have those framed for Jill!"

"Didn't say I didn't get a couple on my old cell for you now did I?" RJ shot back.

Smirking at the twinkle in his eye Natalie laughed: "what else?"

"Well, you know the worm got them too. So I'm sure a tabloid has those pics as well. Oh, Nick was acting like a douche as usual."

"Must be in the drinking water at Newman."

"Want me too…."

"Stay out of it, RJ. I can handle my own life."

"Yeah. Doing a real bang up job of it. Although, I have to admit, you are doing better here than you were in Landview."

"Not today, RJ."

"Yeah," he said in simple agreement. "There's a box upstairs for you from Jones."

She nodded sadly: "I'll get it later. Jamie's still coming the…" she started as Gloria stormed into the club dragging Fenmore with her.

"Any reason my grandson was left alone in a car?" she demanded as Fen mouthed a 'sorry' to Natalie.

"Just coordinating some info and picking up papers, Gloria," Natalie replied with a long suffering grin and bare it attitude.

"Like my bartended needs anything from you?"

"Lady I'd…"

"RJ…" Natalie said in a warning tone, knowing full well he was close to spilling just who _really _ran things at Gloworm. "Just give me the new custody arrangement that Tea drew up and I'll look over it tonight and make any changes so it'll be done by the time Antonio brings Jamie to visit.  
Besides, it makes my job as mediator easier."

RJ glared passed Natalie to the pompous woman who was standing huffily by: "Tea didn't draw up the paperwork. Will did."

Natalie smirked at the information: "Something you want to share?" she teased.

Rolling her eyes and throwing up her hands Gloria interjected: "People do work around here! Can't you two do this on your own time!"

"Would be mice seeing you do some for a change," RJ muttered as he reached under the counter for a file.

Laughing, Natalie put her hand out and took it: "I gotta get this one to a scheming session. We are so going to finish this convo later!"

"Why does that thought scare me?" RJ asked stone faced.

"Bye Gloria," Natalie said primly as she ushered Fen out over the voices of the black man and the aging prima donna arguing…

* * *

John went through his closet digging for a specific box he had hidden there before he had started sharing the space with Marty. When he finally found it, he was almost surprised that it was still there.

Almost five years ago he had hidden it there.  
Hidden it away with all he had felt for the little boy who he had held as he had drawn his last breathe as Natalie lay sedated down the hall.  
Hidden away with the memories of Natalie's screams as he held her and told her Jude was gone.

The memories of the vows they had taken- a clerical error all that kept their marriage from being legal.  
An error caused by Marty since Jessica hadn't signed the license as a witness.

And he had shut down and then shut Natalie out.  
Then the fights.  
The blame.  
The drinking.  
The questions.

He had gone to Marty at first, but saw something in her eyes he hadn't liked- something he remembered from the first time Marty treated him and Natalie had warned him that she was trying to break them up.  
He remembered they fought about Marty.  
Fought about how Jessica suddenly didn't trust her to hold Reilly.  
How Kelly wouldn't leave her alone with Zane while he was in town on a visit.  
He brushed it all off.  
Didn't want to deal with it.

With her.

Then she moved to Llanfair.  
And he nearly blew.  
He drank even more.  
Got into fights.  
One even Fish had to break up.

He went to Crosby then.  
Started to talk about his feelings.  
About wanting Natalie back.  
He would've gotten her back.

He knew it.

He had had it planned out.  
Was going to get down on bended knee at Brody and Jessica's wedding reception and ask her to forgive him for what he had put her through. To take him back. To be his forever. To marry him there- or whenever she was ready too. This time, he'd be the one to wait on her.

But Marty had chased her away.  
Inserted herself back into a life he never put back together.

His life was a lie.

A lie based on Marty's manipulations.  
Ones he never saw coming.  
Did he suspect Natalie's? One some level- yes.  
The questions.  
The fears…  
But she had just disappeared without a fight.

All he had left was a single picture of their 'family,' one of their 'son,' a dried yellow rose from his funeral, and a necklace he had made for her.

Almost five years after she had ran and he called her his wife again for the first time.  
Felt whole again for the first time as the word passed his lips.  
Remembered what it felt like to be a father.  
All it took was finding out that a little boy who called him 'uncle' because he was his father's partner and he tried to avoid because he was a reminder of what he didn't have was _his _son.

_**His and Natalie's son.**_

Reilly should've grown up with them.  
Answered to the name Jude.  
Run into their arms at the end of school days.  
Cried into their shoulders when he had nightmares.  
And now- God now- Natalie might never have the chance to know him or hold him.

To see him.

And he- he might never hear his son call him daddy, or more importantly, Natalie mommy.  
His son might be dying without knowing who he was- and depending on Jessica and Brody might live without ever knowing that they were more than just Uncle John and Aunt Natalie….

* * *

Natalie smiled as she accepted a glass of wine from Phyllis. "Some party last night," the older red head said. "So how late were you up cleaning up after we left?" she asked knowingly.

"Phyllis," Traci chided her sister-in-law gently from her seat next to Natalie on the couch as Nina Williams walked in.

"What?" Phyllis asked fringing innocence as Nina shrugged out of her coat and sat down next to Traci.

"We all deal in different ways," Traci reminded simply as she put her own glass on a nearby table as Jack and Jill came into the room.

"Oh, you mean like Ashley who keeps her head buried in the sand or Sharon who married her baby daddy's brother/baby kidnapper?"

"Or you unleashing those claws?" Natalie asked sweetly, earning a dirty look from her friend, "You know, just saying?"

"You and I are so talking about your other issue later," Phyllis snarked.

"Who me? Issues?"

"Phyllis can you go check on the…?" Jack started. "Kids?" she finished for him as she walked over and kissed him. "Sure," she smiled pulling back, with a smile.

Jill rolled her eyes: "seriously. Was that necessary?" the brunette asked as she shrugged out of her coat and took a seat while Jack went to get her a drink.

"She was just trying to distract me," Natalie told her.

"Does she even understand from what?"

"She's had miscarriages, Jill. And she did almost lose Summer," Traci pointed out.

"Does she…"

"No Jill, she doesn't know that today would've been my son's fifth birthday.  
That it _is _my nephew's.  
That a week after he was born we buried him- hours before my ever so compassionate sister had her own son baptized- at the same church- with the brother I would've chosen to be Jude's godfather as her son's.  
My mother couldn't fathom why I refused to attend the baptism and share in my sister's happiness, even as my son's father was drowning his sorrows at the bar he owned.  
I was supposed to share in _her_ happiness while I was all but overcome with my grief."

"If I ever come face to face with this so called mother of yours I think I'm going to lay a bigger smack down on her than one I ever laid down on Nikki," Jill observed.

Traci looked at Natalie sadly: "I can't imagine being put in that position. To have to watch one daughter so overcome by grief, yet want to take part in the other's joy…"

"Traci, it wasn't like it was the first time," Natalie admitted to the group, clarifying: "Had to stand up at her wedding to Antonio looking at a space where John should've been standing when he was presumed dead and my sister wasn't even sure she wanted to marry him. Hell the marriage didn't even last a year! Barely lasted six months if I remember correctly. She was cheating on him shortly after her daughter was born with the baby daddy and Jamie almost got killed because of it.  
Oh, and let's not forget the time a mad man wanted to cut out my heart. He traded me for my sister. Seems to a man in need of a heart transplant twins, even with different tissue types are interchangeable.  
You know if I was given the choice between my life of Jude's- even one of my niece's or nephew's I wouldn't hesitate. The answer would've been simple: take MY heart.  
My mother- now she hesitated.  
'I won't choose between my daughters' is what she said.  
I would've said to take mine instead of my child's.  
Technically I wasn't even a mother a week.  
I never got to hold him.  
Just felt his little hand gripping my finger, and that grip growing weaker and weaker.  
I didn't even get to say goodbye.  
That bitch Marty came into my room and worked me up and then ordered me sedated before my real doctor could counter it," she finished as tears fell from her eyes.

"Oh, honey," Traci sighed sliding over and wrapping her arms around her as Jull moved over to her other side and did the same.

Jack sat on the table in front of her: "Hey, we were lucky. We got to say goodbye to our children.  
We didn't have to deal with as much pressure.  
Traci and I were lucky to know that our losses saved others from having to go through the same thing."

"You also had time and were able to say goodbye," Natalie pointed out.

"I didn't," Nina reminded. "Never thought I would get it. Finding Ronan was a gift.  
A bittersweet one since I lost Chance at the same time.  
Sometimes I think I was never meant to have both in my life," she admitted.

"That's ridiculous," Jill chided. "It was a sting gone bad. They were both too stubborn to trust the other- Chance isn't the only one we lost because of lack of trust."

"But you _wanted _Chance and Ronan in your life together.  
And Jill loved Cane even though he wasn't really hers.  
My parents- I had to push every step of the way with them- the whole family."

Jack reached into his pocket: "you weren't here for Christmas. So I have a special gift for you."  
"What did you do, Jack?" Natalie asked accepting the jewelry box.

"Open it and see."

Tentatively, she opened it, swallowing back tears as she saw the locket inside with the date 1-1-11 engraved on it. "Jack…"

"Open it," he told her.

Raising her head and cocking it to the side she did just that, gasping in surprise when she saw that on one side was a picture of Fen and on the other was… "How?" she asked through tears.

"I have my ways," he admitted simply as he rose. "Now, I'll leave you ladies alone."

"Jack?" she said stopping him. "Can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Put it on for me?"

"Sure honey," he said with as smile as he took it from her and Traci and Jill slid slightly away, giving him room to maneuver so he could put it on her. Once it was clasped he kissed her head.

"Thank you, Jack, I'll treasure it," she said softly as she moved the locket back and forth with her hand.

"Everyone should have some memento," he said choked up. "Now, I'm going to go make sure the boys don't do too much damage," he said with a bit more strength in his voice.

"Amazing, he can be like John sometimes," Jill mused to Traci's amusement as Jack walked out of the room and earshot.

"Never noticed that before?" Nina wondered.

"Not that I'd admit."

"Not that you'd admit or admit in polite company?"

"What's your problem? Your claws have been out an awful lot lately?" Jill shot back testily.

Rolling her eyes Natalie decided to intercede. "She's not after Paul," she said as she picked up her glass of wine. "She has another target in mind."

"Oh no," Traci sighed picking up on the undercurrents.

Natalie inhaled: "I don't want to talk about that today, that's not what we're here to talk about."

"Your husband is screwing around on you on the anniversary of…" Jill started angrily.

"Of something he doesn't know about," Natalie said bluntly, surprising them all. "Lauren figured out I lost a child, but never the details. Michael doesn't care enough to," she shrugged. "Look, he didn't want more kids. At the time we got married - well, I was in the same place.  
Don't get me wrong. I love Fenmore as if he… I love being the doting aunt… but sometimes…."

"It's a nice dream," Nina admitted with a bittersweet smile.

"Come on, you're your young enough…"

Nina sighed: "I don't know. Paul has a son who lives with his grandparents and Heather…"

"Have you two ever talked about it?"

"You sure are pushy. You do know we're old enough to be grandparents?"

"Yeah, and my eldest brother and sister are old enough to be my parents, so what's your point?" Natalie pointed out.

"By as much of an age difference as would be between ours?"

Jill laughed: "Have you seen the age difference between Billy and Phillip?"

"Colleen and Abby did have a big age difference as well," Traci sighed.

"Whose side are you on? You're not much older than I am!" Nina shot over to Traci.

"There were complications and Steve didn't want…" Traci sighed. "It would've been nice though. I had thought about it.  
But there were other plans in place for me.  
Lily needed a mother and I needed a daughter and I got two beautiful grandchildren, even if they aren't mine by blood.  
I think that's a better path than others took."

"Like Ashley?" Jill asked.

"Why do you always have to be so harsh?" Natalie sighed. "That woman has major issues."

"And she thinks she's above us all. She ended up in a mental institute, tried to kidnap Faith and thinks she's too good to talk to other people who have lost children," Jill shot back.

"Why do I bother?" Natalie muttered.

"Because you care and hope she has more underneath than most of us see?" Nina suggested. "I mean, you made a huge difference between her and Katherine."

"And even more so her and Lauren," Traci put in. "They never would have seen each as sisters if it weren't for you."

Natalie shrugged as she turned her glass around in her hand: "Not for getting caught in the crossfire more than once, but I had been there. I just understood more how to… how to get them to communicate and understand what the other really meant and was saying."

"And we had time because of you," Jill admitted. "Now what about you and kids?"

"I don't know. I can't go through…" she sighed and took a gulp of wine. "I wouldn't mind taking in foster kids, but Michael won't hear of it because of the Daisy fiasco," she continued putting her glass onto the table. "But that doesn't stop me from-  
For the first time in years I dreamt about what it could've been like last night.

My anniversary with John. Going home, looking in on Jude and a little girl with red hair.  
Jude jumping into our bed to wake us up happy for his birthday.  
A family breakfast.  
Party at Llanfair… being teased about something I wasn't around for, but Joey not even realizing it and walking to the patio and staring out the windows till John came over and wrapped me in his arms and whispered in my hair, causing me to laugh before turning back to the party for both boys as Kevin gives Jude his first saddle and promises to teach him to ride while joking that he might even try teaching me again as we walk over.  
Jude was so happy.  
He was running towards us.  
Running into my arms and then the dream was just… over…"

"And you never…"

"No.  
At first…  
But I had to push them aside.  
They hurt too much.  
Even… you know, my room was near the nursery. A couple of times I got to Reily before the nanny or my sister because I couldn't sleep.  
Couldn't face the dreams of what could've been.  
The guilt.  
I would sit and hold Reilly and rock him back to sleep. I knew he wasn't mine, even though he looked back at me with eyes so like John's- or that's what my mind tried to trick me to think.  
I'd just hold him and hum to him.  
My sister and her fiancé freaked.  
Marty said it was 'unhealthy.'  
My mother, of course, had no choice but to step in and intervene on my sister's behalf. I remember just standing there and looking at her in the hallway as she blocked the door to the nursery as the baby was crying and asked if I should just let him cry.

She told me it wasn't my place.  
_Wasn't my place?  
_I laughed at her.  
Laughed right in her face.  
Asked her why it wasn't my place when I was the one who stepped in to take care of Bre when my sister was in and out of the hospital and Chloe before- well I'd taken care of her children before so why couldn't I now?

I knew he wasn't my mine.  
That my son was dead.  
But to them- I was a threat.  
A sign of the worse that could happen and had happen to her. She couldn't deal- but I was.  
Only I couldn't mourn how I needed to.  
They wouldn't let me.  
Let me love my niece and nephews.  
Go back to my life…

I carried Jude in my heart even if John was shutting down and pushing me away and I didn't want to forget him till finally- finally I just ran away and ended up here."

"And maybe this is where you needed to be," Traci suggested wisely.

"I guess.  
I mean look at my life.  
I have a degree in law. I work for one of Fortune's Top 500 Companies and do criminal and family work on the side with a hell of a success record.  
Have a husband who is at least discreet in his indiscretions."

"You're sure…" Nina wondered. "I mean even if he…"

"Oh, I already put him on notice… I won't go after him. But I know enough to stick Billy on the Bug and crush her. Besides, Michael doesn't want Fen to find out."

"That's true," Jill put in. "Fen is more likely to take your side."

"You really think so?"

"Have you seen how that boy looks up to you? Cares about you?" Jill wondered.

"Anyway," Natalie said brushing the thought aside because she couldn't let herself believe it, "I have a best friend who'd tear someone's eyes out for me. Two women," she continued looking from Traci to Nina: "who are the sisters I always wanted. A man," she added with a laugh as as if on cue Jack's voice came down the hall calling the kids to the dining room "who's the big brother I always wanted and needed.  
And a real mother figure," she finished turning towards Jill.

Smiling, Jill took her hand in hers: "If I had had a daughter I would have wanted her to be just like you.  
I mean how lucky could I have gotten? I got an extra son in Cane and now- now a daughter in you."

"See, there's always a plan at work.  
Always someone we're supposed to be there for whether they're ours by blood or not," Traci said as she stood. "And I have to be honest, I've been coming back more and more because things with Steve haven't been good lately.  
I want to play mother and grandmother and he doesn't think it's healthy.  
Right now I don't care.  
This is where I belong, whether he belongs here or not!"

"And Paul and I are happy.  
Ronan…" Nina laughed, "I think things with Ronan would be different if things had happened differently with Chance. To be honest, a part of me blames Chris for that. But Ronan is happy with Rosanna, so maybe…  
Maybe I'll be a grandmother at some point soon," she sighed. "Or then again, maybe Paul and I will have a talk and we could always take in a troubled kid like I was.  
Just look what being in the right household did for Devon," she mused.

"Is this pity party going to continue all day or are we actually going to eat?" Ashley demanded as she stormed in from the dining area, then stopped short and glared at Jill: "Who the hell invited you?"

"I did," her younger brother, Billy, said cutting his sister off. "Lily just called. She and the kids are on their way."

"Billy…" Ashley started through gritted teeth.

"Five years ago next month Cane died, Ash. Just because you don't want to have support of others over losing someone you loved doesn't mean that other people don't," he shut her down.

"Really? And who did Natalie loose?" Ashley challenged.

"Don't know. Don't care. Not in the group, so it's none of my business. Now can we eat? The kids are getting restless."

"It's more like the women who stole other people's men…"

"Our sister…"

"Stole Brad from me."

"Then why the hell don't you join them? Because you stole Brad from her. Oh and Victor from Nikkie and Tucker from Jill. Funny, all but one went back to the women you stole them from. The one who didn't went for a younger model."

Steaming, Ashley stormed to where her coat was and grabbed it and her purse: "Jackie, I'm leaving. I don't need to deal with this!"

"Ash…" Jack started.

"I won't sit at the same table with the woman who stole my husband so she could keep her hooks in the Chancellor fortune and if you can't understand that… well I don't know what the hell is wrong with you!" she said before storming out.

"Well, not that the entertainment portion of the afternoon is over, can we eat?" Natalie asked.

"Sounds like a plan," Jack smirked, knowing that there was no sense in trying to talk to Ashley and amused at how well Natalie always took the Abbot family fireworks- or any of the others she was caught in- and not for the first time he wondered where the redheaded spitfire who always seemed to call it like she saw it really came from, and more importantly really was…


	4. Grow Up and Deal

**AN**: Just a couple of comments/spoilers in response to some of the reviews on the story (thanks for them by the way it's given me some ideas on how to change a couple of directions and/or draw things out a little more to make certain people- Clint/Jess/John have to fight harder to get pass Nat's shell and new protector's)  
I know it's taking a long time for me to update and I'm sorry, but I'm in the middle of a Master's class with 2-5 mini papers due a week depending how many readings we're doing a week (usually over a hundred pages) and a major power point presentation of 20-30 slides plus commentary every 3 weeks and an additional 30 page paper at the end of the course which happens to coincide with state testing for my students, whom I'm trying to get ready for the test.  
I do have chapters for _Explosive Legacies (OLTL, Y&R, WTR, Dallas, AMC, GH, and possibly others); Winner Takes All (OLTL), _and_ The Last Name Verse (NCIS/OLTL /AMC eventually Y&R- Nat and Gibbs with Abby having a connection to the Buchs).  
_*I know that Michael/Natalie isn't a typical pairing and I did that purposely. There is a reason for it that will be revealed later on in the story.  
Nina and Chloe will be at least civil, if not more so, as you'll see, Natalie is a connecting force in this story.  
*Heather won't be a B/hoe in this story because she's the HV version and will be Kevin's love interest—Joey's will be someone from another show and will throw Aubrey for a loop or two along with Chloe.  
*Clint will step up in a new way- the reason why will be partially shown in this chapter, and I'm also going with the original change in direction for his character. Rex is NOT his son.  
*John won't be a hero nor a villain—but he will have to work to get THIS Natalie back (she does still love him) and it won't be the Buchs that he has to go through and get on his side now that she has Jack, Billy, Kevin, Paul, Neil, Tucker, Jill, Phyllis, Chloe, and Sofia in her life not to mention RJ, Antonio, and Vincent who have already seen the damage he's done to her for him to go through.)  
*The Crammer women will go down hard with a couple of exceptions that will test loyalties- Kelly will definitely be one who goes down hard, along with Dorian.  
*Victor and Vicki get what's coming to them.  
*Both Vickies have to deal with Nat and Jill as a combo; they both will try to get Katherine to help, but can she?  
*Nora gets put in her place alongside Christine via The Sun and Restless Style and two attorneys.  
*Marty won't have many people, if anyone, to count on if Nat and Co. can help it. Cole will be involved in a surprising way, but not around for more than a chapter or two- Marty might end up in a padded room next to Patty, Ash, and a surprising someone else….  
*In this story, Jess is going to be more sympathetic (sorry) but that's because she's being written more like ET's. For hypocritical Messica getting her just desserts along with Nora, Marty, Brody, and most of the Buchs I recommend _Explosive Legacies_; for seeing John getting his payback, plus being seen as a playa with women playing mind games on him try my _Last Name Verse_.

_Now on with the story…._

_**Chapter 4**_  
_**Grow Up and Deal**_

Ashley stormed into Neil's living room: "and a Happy New Year's to you too…" he half laughed as he balanced his sleeping son on his shoulder.

"G-d, I hate those women!" she complained as he shut the door while trying to comfort the now crying baby.

"What happened now?"

"The meeting of the Hen and Peck Let's Complain and Compare Notes on Loosing Children Like It Will Bring Them Back Club! And they had that man stealing whore with them."

Neil smirked at her last words, even though he knew she hadn't intended them to be funny, as they sat down on his couch: "care to narrow that list down? There are a lot of those running around this town."

Ashley glared at him: "Jill," she spit out the name with venom.

Shifting his wiggling son around, Neil couldn't help but roll his eyes: "honey, are you really in any place to throw stones?"

"What? How _dare _you!"

"Ashley, you slept with Tucker before we were officially over," Neil pointed out.

"You're really going to throw _that _in my face?"

"Ash, it wasn't the first time you cheated with someone."

"You sound like Billy," she pouted.

"Now there's a sounding endorsement," he sighed. "Look, that group seems to help its members.  
They support each other.  
Care about each other.  
Lily's gone a few times. They've gotten her through when none of us could."

"You know so much, Neil, why the hell is Natalie Baldwin a member?" Ashley huffed. "That girl was hard as nail, one step up from a street walker and…"

"Girlfriend, you should watch who you talk about," Sofia said as she breezed in with her daughter in her arms.

"Puh-lease. What you know something?"

"Know _something?_ Blondie, I know lots of things. You ever use your head to get more than men or knocked up and maybe you would too," she shot out caustically.

"Sofia…" Neil chided, trying to keep the peace.

"Oh, hell to the no! I've been good the last few months, Neil. I looked the other way when you missed doctor's appointments for Vikki's crisis and divorce from Billy. Thank G-d Olivia would hold off on the sonograms as long as possible so you could be there for them! But she was just a friend.  
Ok, so a friend with undercurrents, but _she _knew where the line was and I _never _had to clue her in or draw it for her. But ever since Tucker went _back _to Jill because he was tired of this one over here and her endless supply of drama and the world revolves around me, you missed Lamaze classes- hell Lily, Devon and even Malcolm were at more of them then you were! I was shocked you actually made it to the babies' births! But then again, _that_ was waiting in the waiting room needing your shoulder to cry on so you couldn't focus on your family!"

Neil carefully rose to his feet, balancing his son and ignoring the huffs and puffs and mutters from an outraged Ashley: "why didn't you say something?"

"Why would I?" Sofia wondered. "I'm strong enough in myself not to worry about Ashley- well most of the time," she replied. "Hell, she wants all of us to cry about her and her great loses and how they put her in a mental ward and how she'd be the better mother to Faith just because Sharon married Adam after she was too stupid to realize what he was doing to her, even though _she _would've kidnapped that sweet little girl if she wasn't stopped by Tucker.  
But, oh, yeah- that we're supposed to forget because ONLY Adam is the twisted kidnapper in that caper!  
Damnit, Neil, she _aborted _her child," Sofia continued, now on a roll she was nowhere near getting off of as she turned her gaze to Ashley who she looked up and down with an expression that clearly let the white woman know she came up lacking: "well, not everyone has that option."

"You mean…" Ashley started to ask.

"I mean you need to get your scrawny behind out of my house," Sofia responded evenly. "My family and I have plans today. Ones that don't include you."

"Neil…" Ashley pleaded.

Taking in the look his wife shot him, he sighed: "Ash, we did have plans…"

"I need…"

"I learned from previous mistakes to put what's right for my family first. We can do lunch later this week."

"First my family. Now my friends!" she huffed as she gathered up her stuff and stormed to the door opening it as then paused, looking back, sure that with a glance Neil would change his mind.

"Don't let the door hit ya," Sofia said as she turned her back on the woman and sat down, earning a curse and the slamming of the door: "Now that was unladylike, wasn't it?" she said as she cuddled her daughter close to her chest.

"Sofia…" Neil sighed.

"You're too good hearted for your own good," his wife sighed as she leaned her head on the back of the couch and looked over at him.  
"Now was I a little harsh?  
Maybe.  
But Ashley shouldn't have said those things.  
Not about any of them; and especially not about someone she knows nothing about!"

"So she really lost…"

"A little boy.  
About a week old if I remember correctly.  
Most people didn't make the connection.  
She didn't have a high profile in her family's business. Worked more for her uncle at the local police station and then went into forensics just like she said.  
I just knew because I handled a deal she worked on with her grandfather before he died and Tucker. I knew for sure when I saw a necklace she was wearing- her grandfather had given it to her for closing the deal.  
She wanted me to pretend I didn't know who she used to be, so I went along with it," Sofia explained. "It's not like she was hurting anyone.  
She didn't lie about her past, just omitted some parts.  
I mean, you saw how hard she worked when she first got to town, right? The AC Club, Gloworm, Fenmores, then for Paul and Michael while still at Fenmores and Gloworm while still keeping a 3.8 in Law School, that's not exactly an easy feat.  
Personally, I think she wanted to forget what had happened.  
She didn't have to work all those jobs, not with the money her family has. But, then again they always said she never counted on their money only on what she earned herself.  
She might have self-destructed a little bit when she first got here, but she never hurt anyone but herself if you think about it. She didn't hurt go around interfering in other people's lives or try to ruin a marriage."

"You know some people say…"

"You really don't think Lauren was pushing her and Michael together before the accident? That she didn't have some sort of plan in play? Wanted to make sure she had some control over who had access to Fen after she did what she was planning to do?" Sofia queried.

Neil nodded: "if it were me- that's what I would've done."

"Honey, just don't say anything, OK? I don't think she wants anyone other than those she chooses to to know. I mean, I think only Tucker and I know whose granddaughter she is and the only people who know about the baby are that group…."

"Got it. None of my business anyway," he said pulling his wife closer to his side.

* * *

Ashley glided into Fenmores with no other place to go. "We're closed," Kim Andrews said from behind the counter.

"Certainly looks like it," Ashley cracked as she slid out of her coat, expecting a salesgirl to run over and take it, instead it fell to the floor. Angrily, Ashley bent and picked it up.

"Mom, didn't expect to see you here," Abby said as she carried a pile of clothes to the counter and handed it to one of the salesgirls.

"Explain to me how- this- " she said with a sweeping motion of her hand, "isn't opened."

"Oh, this is a charity event for- what charities again, Kim?" Abby asked bubbly, trying to ignore her mother's mood.

Looking up from her paperwork the dark haired woman sighed and came around the counter to cross to the entrance of the store: "Dressed for Success, the Miranda Centers, and various children's hospital, including the pediatric wing at GCM, and other for children in poverty," she explained as if indulging a spoiled, ignorant, child.

"You're kidding me!" Ashley gasped.

"No. Old and discontinued stock, as well as some new, designer donated clothing is being offered either free or at a huge discounted rate.  
The women, families, and parents have specific timeframes today to get items. This is our second year doing it- New Year/New Start," Kim finished, "now, if you'll excuse me I have a ton of clients to get back to, as well as paperwork to keep up with."

As soon as the other woman was out of hearing range, Ashley turned on her daughter: "really, Abby, using other people's misfortune to further your personal agenda? I thought you were above that!"

Abby rolled her eyes at her mother: "the only thing the 'Naked Heiress' has to do with this is the check I wrote out to help underwrite the costs of the event."

Scanning the room, Ashley huffed: "you'd think Jill would…"

"Mom, she spent six hours here this morning. So did Chloe. She just left with Lily for lunch at Uncle Jack's for lunch. I only just got here and dropped off the twins and Staci."

"And DD?"

Abby threw back her blonde hair with impatience: "was with Kevin and Kathleen," she told her mother impatiently. "Look, instead of standing here, questioning all of us, why don't you help? It might even make you feel better."

"Abby we need more help," Vicki called from the dressing room area.

"I wouldn't do anything to help Jill!"

"This isn't about Jill or publicity for Fenmore's. It's about the charities and the people they help," Abby said reasonably.

"Believe whatever you want, but Jill and her new BFF always have and angle," Ashley warned before storming out.

Exhaling, Abby put a smile back on her face turns. "OK, who's next? You?" she said smiling at a little girl in a blonde wig and a princess dress: "OK, then let's do some power shopping!"


	5. Dealing With Chances

**Switch**  
**Chapter 5**

Jessica looked up from her son's hospital bed and smiled at the doctor who entered the room: "He's looking better," she said as the doctor smiled down at her.

"His vitals are looking better," he replied reassuringly.

"Helps now that we know the truth about his paternity and medical history," Jessica sighed as she accepted the cup of coffee he held out to her. "You didn't have to do this," she added in way of thank you.

"You were barely gone for five hours, couldn't have gotten much sleep," he replied as he looked over Reilly's vitals and wrote notes in the file he had placed on the nearby table.

"I really just wanted to change and be home long enough to get Bre ready for school," Jess admitted as she took a sip of coffee from the cup. "This isn't from the hospital is it?" she asked.

"Picked it up on my way in from home. Would've gotten you something to eat too, but thought that might be pushing it," he teased.

"Carlotta will probably send something over with Chris later," Jessica replied almost shyly as she turned the cup round and round in her hands. "So Kevin was the match?"

"Yeah," he replied as he moved to sit in one of the vacant chairs near her, "But that's not what you're really asking, is it?

Jessica sighed: "are his chances for recovery really good?"

"His tests results show a very optimistic outcome. As a doctor I can't give you a guarantee, but…"

"But?"

"I think he will make a full recovery," he replied simply.

"Thank God," Jessica said, her voice clearly showing her relief. "I don't know what I would do if I had to bury another child, but even more so, how do I tell my sister that I've been raising her child because Marty switched our babies and now she has to bury her real son, only she never even got to know him?"

"So you're letting her know?" he asked, a touch of surprise in his voice.

Jessica nodded: "Brody doesn't think I should, but… If someone knew that a mistake was made with either Chloe or Meghan I would want to know. Besides, John already knows, it's only fair that Natalie gets to know the truth- I just couldn't imagine telling her if it were only for her to come back and bury him.  
If that were the case- I might agree with Brody that telling her would have no purpose, but if Reilly's going to live I have to let her know.  
She needs to be in his life.  
I can't let her continue going on thinking her child's dead when he's not.  
I may lose Reilly because my relationship with Natalie wasn't- I couldn't let her grieve in her way.  
I wouldn't let her near Reilly because I was jealous of her relationship with Bre and… I used her loosing Jude to justify my jealousy and keeping her away from my kids.  
I walked right into Marty's trap.  
I let her manipulate me into hurting Natalie even more.  
It was because of a fight I was having with Marty that Natalie ran off.  
It wasn't like I didn't already know, or at least suspect, what had happened between Natalie and Brody- I would've been angry at her, but I would have forgiven her faster than Brody.  
I knew there had to be more to the story I heard.  
If there wasn't she wouldn't have just taken off like that.  
She lost everything because of Marty- if I can help her get just a little bit of the dreams she once had back, then why wouldn't I?"

The doctor shrugged: "do you even know where she is?" he asked.

"No.  
No one in the family has heard from her since my wedding day," Jessica admitted. "In hindsight we were all pushing her too hard to move on from Jude's death and act like- I of all people should've known better. In some ways I think- no I_ know_- I made things worse.  
Good thing about therapy, you eventually start to see where you made your mistakes.

Tess might have wanted to kill Natalie, I just acted out in ways that would destroy her emotionally, like having Reilly baptized the afternoon of Jude's burial and having Kevin be his godfather when I knew that she had planned on naming him as Jude's and had when they had him baptized at the hospital, even though Rex stood up in his place because Kevin couldn't get here in time.  
Reilly's godfather was supposed to be Joey- I just… Kevin would've been the one she could've leaned on and I…" she shook her head. "I should've been there for my sister, but I just made things harder for her. Part of me thinks I wanted it to be that way.  
Because of my illness Bre counted on her more than me.  
She was better with Reilly than I was.  
Natalie was just a natural mother- I've had to work hard at it, and I don't do that great of a job of it."

"I think you're underestimating yourself."

"You should ask my former step-daughter. I was supposed to adopt her. Instead I walked out of the courtroom leaving her wondering why…" Jessica shook her head. "I love Reilly, and I know that my sister loved him, even if she thought he was only her nephew, and she'd risk her life for them if she had too.  
Honestly, I don't know if I… if I would be that selfless.  
I was brought up the family 'princess' and have to admit that's made me awfully selfish- especially when it comes to Natalie.  
I always focused on what she stole from me, but I never thought about the things I took from her.  
How she grew up in poverty and with nothing while I had everything. How I always had my parents' love and she had to fight for it. How I had guys…" she shook her head. "I won't be that person now. I can't be.  
I won't steal her son from her.  
She might not let me see him.  
Take him away from me, but I know that she'll love him and do what's right for him."

Nodding the doctor looked from mother to child: "you know it won't be easy on any of you."

"I know."

"Have you even spoken to her yet?"

"No. Like I said, except for her sending gifts to the kids via a friend of hers, we haven't heard from her since she took off on my wedding day," Jessica explained. "But my dad has an idea of someone who can help find her.  
He's meeting with her this morning."

"Just don't expect miracles, ok?" the doctor cautioned.

"Reilly's recovering is all the miracle I need right now."

"I better get back to work," he said rising to his feet.

"Thanks for everything, Chance," Jessica told him with a smile.

Shrugging, Chance smiled back at her: "I do what I can. And next time, I'll ask Carlotta what I should bring in for you. Make sure you put more than coffee in your stomach."

"I'll go grab breakfast in the cafeteria when John gets here," she promised, then as he reached the door, called after him: "Chance?"

"Yeah?"

"No offense, but you sound like… well, like it was experience talking when you said it wouldn't be easy."

He nodded: "yeah. My mom gave a son up for adoption when she was a teenager. When he found us again he was… there were complications because of his job and mine."

"Being a doctor made it complicated?"

Chance almost cursed at his slip: "I was treating him for a genetic condition. Anyway, things happened. He and my mom have a good relationship now."

"And you and him?"

"It's what it is," he answered honestly: "if my mother's friend had stayed out of things it might be better.  
But that's our story, not yours."

"Natalie and I could've gotten along better if it weren't for Mitch and Alison- no, I can't put the blame entirely on them.  
I never gave her the chance I promised her I would, Tess always proved that.  
Proved how much I hated her coming in and displacing me in my family's lives.  
Proved how much I blamed my mom for what happened to me as a child.  
Statistically, I was the one who should've been safe. Roxy had men in and out of her trailer and life, but she never let one lay a hand on Natalie. Nikki Smith let me be molested more than once. At that age it wasn't easy to tell the difference between my mother and her alter.  
I also lost a baby at 16. Natty is the one who should've gotten pregnant at that age based on statistics, not me."

"Giving her your child isn't going to make up for those things," Chance cautioned. "I gave up an organ for my brother; didn't help us in the end."

"I'm not giving up my child. I giving my sister back her child. There's a difference," Jessica told him with conviction.

"And if she decides to cut you out of his life?"

"I at least had five years with him. That's more than my sister can say.  
And as long he's going to recover I'm going to let her know the truth," she told him, then added teasingly: "besides, haven't you heard? I'm the good twin?"

Laughing, Chance left the room and Jessica alone with her son…

* * *

Rex listened with some irritation to Charlie and Brody as they set out a plan for Reilly's future. "Don't you two think that John and Natty should have some say in things? I mean, that is what Jessica wants, isn't it?" he asked his father and the man his father thought of as a son and treated as more of a son than him, which was fine with Rex, since he preferred to go to Bo for fatherly advice himself.

"That's what she saids now, but once the shock wears off she'll see things my way," Brody said confidently.

"You think John and Natalie will?" Rex wondered.

"What are they going to do about it?" Brody asked angrily. "Natalie took off and John…"

"They thought their son was dead thanks to Marty. Natalie deserves…"

"Nothing…Not after what she did. She thought Jude was mine and was willing to lie about it. She would've let him die for the sake of that lie!"

"Bullshit," Rex shot back. "She knew that your blood type didn't match. Hers did. She had done the math and knew that Marty had been in the labs. She even knew about the tape that you had. Insurance not against Marty, but Ford, right?"

"Cut the man some slack, Rex. He's dealing with a sick son and the fact that he's not his biological father," Charlie cut in.

Rolling his eyes, Rex got to his feet: "yeah, well then John better not be around him when he's packing. We know what happened the last time he found out he wasn't a kid's father and had a gun on him. Still have the scar to go with it!  
But I'm warning you. You're not keeping this from _my_ sister. And you're not keeping _her_ from _her __**kid**_.  
Too many people know the truth, Brody.  
Too many people know your history.  
You really think that a judge is going to side with two former St. Ann's patients over a well respected cop and a forensics tech?"

"I think they'll side with the Buchanan Princess over the Buchanan con-artist/whore and a drunken cop who can't keep it in his pants," Brody shot back.

Rex glared: "Be careful where you thread and what you say, Brody. Things come back to haunt everyone. You want to bring up Natty's old mistakes, I'm sure I can dig up plenty on you, never mind Jess and her alters should the need arise."

"You threatening me, Balsom?"

"He's doing nothing of the sort," Charlie jumped in. "You know he's always been protective of Natalie, and as soon as he calms down and thinks about what is best for Reilly I'm sure he'll see and understand that it's best that he stays in a stable home. The one that you and Jessica have provided and will continue to provide for him. No court battles, no dredging up the past. No need to go out and find Natalie and let her know anything.  
After all, this thing with Marty is front page news. I'm sure if she wants to be a part of Reilly's life- as his aunt- something can be arranged, should she come back."

"Yeah, like that's going to happen," Brody groused. "That woman is not getting anywhere near _my_ son."

"We'll see about that," Rex muttered as he got up and walked out…

* * *

Heather Stevens looked up from the file she was reading in her small ADA's office at LPD, surprised to see Clint Buchanan in her doorway: "Clint, I wasn't expecting you. I'm afraid I have no news on Marty's case. Nora got her an evaluation at St. Ann's so we're on hold for the time being," she said crisply.

"Why am I not surprised?" he wondered as he entered the office, closing the door behind him. "She saids she won't help and yet…" shaking his head he exhaled. "Mind if I sit down?"

"Suit yourself," Heather said as she put aside the file she was working on. "I take it this has nothing to do with the case?"

"Not directly, no."

"Then what?"

"This might sound strange, but I think you might be the one person who can help me find my daughter, Natalie."

"Me? Why? How?" Heather asked, taken about. As far as she knew she had never met the missing heiress. The Buchanans rarely talked about her, and she had never even seen a picture of the woman.

"You were showing us some pictures from your father's wedding a while back. I didn't say anything at the time, but I could've sworn I saw her in the background of one. Then there were pictures from some other event…" he sighed. "If I showed you a picture of Natalie…"

"I might be able to tell you if I knew her, but there were a lot of people at the wedding. Some were friends of Nina's from California that I didn't even know. And if it were from a charity event, they could've been from one of the companies sponsoring it, meaning she could've been covering the wedding for _Restless Style_ or working for Chancellor or Newman," Heather explained calmly. "She could've even been an old client of my Dad's or friend of the family's that I didn't meet, or just someone's date. I really don't want to get your hopes up.  
You know I wasn't back in Genoa City that long on either visit," she added.

"Natalie would never work for Newman, she knows it would have my father rolling over in his grave," Clint responded without thinking, before continuing: "Please, just… I know it's a long shot… but we… we were never able to track her down," Clint admitted to Heather truthfully. "She emptied out her bank accounts a little at a time, moved the money around to off shore accounts over years. We think she might have changed her name… We tried to find her… we couldn't… Maybe we-_ I_- gave up on her too soon.  
I can't just not try to find her now.  
She needs to know the truth about Reilly.  
It'll be too late to make things right if we wait till he's older.  
Not as easy for her to connect with him- believe me, I know from experience."

"Paul and I met when I was older, only it was me who held out… didn't want the relationship."

"Well, Natalie did," Clint sighed, wanting to express to Heather that he knew where he had gone wrong with his daughter. To make her see that he knew that there were things he had to make up for besides reconnecting his daughter with her son: "I just… I had a daughter and in my mind she was taken from me.  
I didn't see it as gaining another daughter.  
I said I did.  
I should've.  
Natalie was such a Buchanan.  
Asa said it from the beginning.  
I just saw it as loosing Jessie.  
I never fought for a relationship with Natalie the way I should have.  
Now I need to.

Am going to.

I am going to fix this family, starting with helping my daughters get things straightened out between them and making sure Marty pays for killing my grandson and taking Reilly from Natalie.  
You know, that was one of her biggest fears?  
That her child would be taken from her the way she was taken from us.  
Only she thought Mitch would do it.  
She never thought her sister would be raising it.  
Now we have to tell her that her son is alive and…" he shook his head. "Please, just look at the picture. It's old and…"

Heather nodded as Clint reached into his suit's breast pocket and pulled out his wallet, sadly he pulled out a photo of Natalie and John, the dark haired man's arm wrapped protectively around her as she stood smiling at the camera in a red leather jacket… Slowly he extended the picture to Heather. After only a quick glance she answered, slightly surprised that she did recognize the woman: "That's Natalie Davidson-well, Baldwin now. She's friends with Nina and worked for my Dad before she finished law school," Heather answered as she handed the picture back.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. I recognize the jacket, and the hair. She's hard to miss at a party, even though she's usually quiet. When she's at them she's usually with Nina or the Abbotts- Jack and Phyllis, Traci, Billy, or Abby-, Jill Fenmore, Chloe and Kevin Fisher, Sofia Winters and sometimes Lilly Ashby.  
She was in the bridal party, but I don't think we really talked that much; I got to know her better when she helped me on a case I was working a while back.  
My dad was working another one and he assigned it to her.

Must have been around the time of the charity event.

She was working two or three jobs at the time and going to law school, but she nailed the background stuff I needed, especially the forensics," Heather told him. "She still lives in Genoa City. Does Corporate Law for McCall Unlimited- mainly Chancellor. Her husband, Michael, works for Newman. She does… umm… some criminal and family law on the side with a couple of other lawyers, as well as pro bono work for the Miranda Center she helped to open in town."

"All that and we had no idea," Clint said as he took the picture back. "Law school…. Three jobs…."

"And she finished with honors," Heather said. "Even though it sounds like she didn't need to… I mean…"

"Natalie always said she wasn't after the money. Always had one hell of a work ethic. Sounds like she still does. Starting a Miranda Center while working for a Fortune 500 Company and taking on other cases."

"And she has a damned good record. The DA's office is after her. She keeps refusing. Tells them when they get their acts together she might reconsider, but she can always blow holes in their forensics a mile wide."

"She was a forensics tech here."

"Well, that explains it."

"Do you think you could help arrange a meeting?" Clint wondered.

Heather tilted her head: "do you think it's going to be that easy? That you're going to be able to just walk into her office and everything is going to be fixed in an instant?"

"Guess not. Hell, she probably won't even see us- unless-" Clint started with a glint in his eyes.

"Unless what?"

"Can you make the appointment with her assistant? Not her? Get us in last minute? Once Jessie and I get to Genoa City?"

"Probably. Why?"

"Because you're not going to make it for Clint and Jessica Buchanan, and if Natalie doesn't have a long time to think about the names she sees on the schedule she won't make the connection…."

"Why don't I like the sound of this?"

"Just playing with my given name, darlin', and hoping that Pa didn't make Natalie watch that damnable movie too many times…."


End file.
